PUSH

i may be alone for some time.. ooppss for a very long time pala... but i must say God let that happen for a purpose.. He let me find Him and myself.. I was too busy finding that someone, something or somewhere that will make me happy that I forgot to find Him and myself first.. For all these years, i suddenly reminisce this little skinny girl who asks everything that she wants from God.. All the while she thought that she had nothing.. but as she grew older, she had learned to fight for her rights, for her family, for her friends, and for her dreams.. she did everything to get what she wants.. along her way, gradually because of the fast-changing environment she belongs to.. she forgot the best thing that she had when she thought she had nothing but herself.. it was her BIG faith in God.. all of us have different stories how we lost, had and hold God in our lives..

I was on the top of my dreams when i suddenly realize that these things won't make happy.. a career, working at the office, sitting in front of a computer and doing the job that i love.. a house, where i share with my family.. the clothes, shoes that i love wearing on and off.. material things.. but these things make me happy for a limited time.. at the end of the day, i always find myself empty even if i almost have everything that i dream of having..

I started to fall in and out of love, i trusted them but that was not enough to make them stay.. they left me with questions that i never had the answers.. I prayed and prayed for someone that will stay with me through thick and thin.. but they had left me behind..

I felt alone and miserable.. That was i decided to hold to my career that I forgot how t enjoy what I have.. I begin to stay away from my friends.. I spend a lot of time at home which i don't usually do on weekends.. i started being an emotional lad that fails to see the colors of life.. i admit that i became bitter and sad for several years.. I felt like i had done everything I can and yet I gain nothing.. Everyone's leaving me behind..

Until i was touched by God's grace of repentance when i clicked a link from a friend's FB post.. i decided to read the scriptures all throughout the page.. Suddenly, i felt that I found myself uttering our Lord's prayer and I felt i was healed and was born again.. All the things that I consider 'bitter' before means to me now as challenges or rocks that He uses to let me open my heart to Him once again.. I started going to church again, pray when i felt like praying not just for myself but for others as well even for those who opposes against me.. Now i realized that it's not that i had nothing, I have the most important thing, my BIG FAITH in Him.. Everything in my life seems to be falling into their proper places so to speak.. I am more happy and enjoy life what our God offers us.. He wants us to be humble before Him, be thankful of every little blessings He had given us and wait for Him to give us what our heart desires in His own time and place..

man can't live on bread alone.. you must leave a BIG space in your heart for the BIG Man up there.. He's willing to listen to your disappointments, frustrations.. you just got to keep on praying and hear what He wanted you to Hear.. He will always be there for you.. He's willing to listen and He loves it when you call upon Him.. PUSH.. Pray Until Something Happens..

a season

It may be a time of new beginnings, a time of growth, a time of reaping the harvest of hard work, or a time of rest. Trust this beautiful order. Everything in its time.

the one

someone who sings to me at random moments.. more goofy than romantic.. make fun of me just to hear my laugh.. lay on a blanket with and count the stars.. someone who would be my best friend and would never break my heart.. will keeps me smile..

the one

someone who sings to me at random moments..
more goofy than romantic..
make fun of me just to hear my laugh..
lay on a blanket with and count the stars..
someone who would be my best friend and would never break my heart..
will keeps me smile..

taking for granted

Never take someone for granted.. maybe by now they are always there doing ordinary things again and again and sometimes it doesn't make sense. but you'll never know the importance of that person until they choose to leave and you realized how badly you missed that person and all that 'non-sense' things that s/he used t...o do. for s/he is the only one who can turn 'ordinary' into something 'special'..

confused: heart vs. head

my heart's talking about...

goodness.. i don't know how to handle this anymore.. feeling ko lng ba to? ang hirap, dude.. you never tell me anything about what you really feel about us.. pero bkit gnito ung nararamdaman ko.. no matter what i do, i can't stop myself from falling for you.. when i finally decided to let go of this stupid thing ska k p ngiging gnyan ulit.. paulit-ulit nlng.. ano b tlga? npapagod n kong mghintay.. should i really have to wait para ano, m-disappoint lng kc it will never be what i had expected it to be??? ayokong mg-invest sa feelings n alam ko hindi ako sure kng may pupuntahan b..

God knows it's been several times i tried to stay away from you.. dumating sa point n hindi kita kinakausap.. hindi ko n rin sinusubukan i-entertain k.. sinungitan n kita.. i even told myself n bka you're being nice to everyone.. ganyan k tlga.. mabait k sa lahat, lahat sila nginitian mo.. i mean lahat kmi.. that you're thoughtful to everybody else if you will be given the chance.. ang hirap kc sana alam mo nman n not of all of us will understand na ganyan k..

let's just say, hindi ako sanay ng pina-pamper ako.. hindi ako sanay n may ng-aalala sakin.. most of all, i 'm just can't believe that someone will bother to give me his attention just like this.. dhil hindi ako sanay, nko-confuse lng ako.. hindi lng isip ko npapagod sa kakaisip why do you have to treat me such this way.. special n un para sakin hindi mo lng alam dhil ayokong sabihin sau (bka kng anong isipin mo towards me).. npapagod n din ung puso to wait for the signs n hinihingi ko kay God.. pero wala tlga.. npapagod n ko..

kninang merienda, you asked me to go with you to buy something to eat for merienda, i just thought na baka that's a friendly gesture.. even if wanted to go with the two of us lng, i decided to ask my colleagues para d lng mgkron ng issue 'ulit' at para isipin mo na rin na hindi lng ikaw ang gusto kong ksama.. pero bkt gnun? after nun, parang feeling ko n-disappoint k nung nlaman mo n may isinama p kong iba.. ngulat ako nung ng-take out k lng.. sabay alis.. honestly, nalungkot ako nun.. ang sakit.. why do i have to feel this pain when i know that i should not to..??? kc pilit kong siniksiksik sa utak n wala nman tlga.. there is nothing special about us.. na ako lng ng-iisip nito.. ngmumukha lng ako tanga.. parang binatukan pa nga ako nung sinabi ng kasama ko, 'nagalit ata sya nung nalaman nyang ksama ako'.. i really wanted to scream at mgmura, BAKIT?? instead, i just uttered 'naku, wla un'..

kng wla un what am i doing to this blog ng 11:43pm n, isa kong tanga..

my head's talking about..
akala ko ba gurls lng ang mhirap intindihan when in fact, guys were really hard to decipher.. p**c*a naman.. you can't really tell if he treats you in a special way or if this is how he treats his other friends.. mas inaatake pa sila ng mood swings kesa sa aming mga gurls.. today he's so sweet like he's gonna make you feel that they really felt for you, but the very next day he will act oppositely.. anak ng patis nman tlga!!! tas sabi guys tend to bully the girls that they really like, pero nkaka-g**o nman un.. ano un ung lahat ng inaasar ng mga lalaking yan gusto nila.. eh ano ba tlga, kuya?? gusto ka nila if they treat you special or if they have efforts to ruin your glamorous day??? does his actions speaks what he really thinks of me???

when heart and head collides..
dhil si heart at si head ay pasaway, eto ang result ng personality quiz n nkuha.. at lalo n kong nguluhan.. haayss.. itutulog ko n nga ko (wishing and hoping..)

http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/2TE7d26/How-does-he-feel-about-you

Your Result

How does he feel about you??

Romance is in the air! Things might not have gotten hot and heavy but that doesn't mean he hasn't thought about taking the relationship you have to the next level. He really has a thing for you and it's not just lust. Tell him how you feel and see what happens from there.

Fun quizzes, surveys & blog quizzes by

emotional and physical fatigue

this morning.. i wanted to drag myself to work but my migraine's stopping me.. even my body ache's as if ran 10km yesterday.. felt like I'm physically and emotionally drained.. all of sudden 'ayen' find it hard to smile on small things, find it hard to accept things as they come, find it hard to decide what to do, find it hard to enjoy life.. i know that this emptiness that i can explain where does it coming from affects a lot on this fatigues.. i always have my life half-empty and hall-full before.. i smile and laugh often, love the simple things that life offers me.. but that was all in the past.. my today, i don't know.. don't know where am i heading... confused.. i need a lot of time to think about how my life's gonna be.. God, please help me to decide.. i wanted to have the best for all of the creatures you have me with.. i know i may not be happy, but all these pain I'm with right now will worth, even if i think that this might kill me.. but i should trust you, I'll keep waiting until what's you have in store for me would made me say if that day will come, 'God's will is worth all that wait'..

Words of Wisdom: Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to wait for God to show you what's next in your life. But just know that God is never late and it's always worth the wait.

Galatians 6:9 And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

i love it when i catch you looking at me ♥♥♥

while i was browsing the 'like this' fan pages of a networking site i found an interesting line that i mistakenly thought that t'was about human's love.. due to curiosity, i browse and read the whole page.. it was about God's love for us.. (gee! i must really had less faith in HIM now).. i was too busy looking for my prince charming that i almost forgot finding my King first.. busy about how will i go from one place to another that i should be sharing a part of my time serving HIM.. felt guilty.. i began to think of what i used to be.. i was raised by my God-fearing parents with HIM as the center of our lives.. they taught me wisdom of humbleness and simplicity.. i used to sang for God's grace when i was a kid but now because of the fast pace of my life from adolescent to adult, I did not notice that I had let go of HIM.. I hold on to material things..

Thanks to Dom (an office mate) who posted this fan page to his wall.. and suddenly I realized that I should always remember who I really am and to whom I should be entrusting my life with..

Let me share steps of knowing HIM that i also got to find from that page:
Step 1: Be Sure, in accepting HIM as your Saviour you can be sure that you are a Christian
Step 2: The Holy Spirit, you can ask God to fill you with HIS Hol Spirit each and every day.
Step 3: The Bible, God has given you "His instruction book" to help us live a victorious Christian life.
Step 4: Church, you can learn about God; spend time with other believers; worship God; and help and serve others in your local church.
Step 5: Prayer, you can pray to God throughout the day, but it is also good to set aside some time each day when you can spend concentrated time in prayer to God.
Step 6: Share Your Faith, it is important also to pray for people you know who need to come to know Christ.

Let us be guided with HIS grace.
PS. i love it when i catch you looking at me ♥♥♥

Many loves the rain it washes away tears of all those who have lost something, their someone..
The smell is like breathing of a new beginning!!!

;s

it's always the same in every relationship, there is always one person crying and wishing to get back together, while the other doesn't even remember the things they've been through.. I hate the fact that i have to be the one who remembers every little detail while you can't seem to remember me at all!..

single-blessedness

Being tied down to a relationship leads to many what-ifs. Now that you are single, it is time to eradicate all the ifs that have accumulated in your life.

Let's face it, one guy cannot and probably will never be able to fulfill all your fantasies. Take this time to meet new people and enjoy the company of different guys without tying yourself down to one.

This way, you get to figure out what exactly you want in a guy. There are many men out there who will probably make good husbands and partners, but what's good for one woman isn't necessarily good for all. Now that you are single, you have all the opportunity and chance to shop around and see who complements you the best.

Enjoying single blessedness starts with loving one's self. It includes taking care of your self. You need not wait for a significant someone to pamper you. This sense of security and self-confidence radiate within you and these will attract the best of people.

How to find fellow singles
It is hard to remain single when people around you are getting hitched and having children. There are various opportunities and proper venues where you can go and find your perfect partner. Some of these include:

1) Other countries, cities, and interesting places
Go out and see the world! Just log on to the net and you will find that it is filled with travel opportunities that are ideal for a single girl like you. If your purse prevents you from travelling far, day trips are also available. Not only will you meet new friends, you will be exposed to new cultures, as well.

2) Seminars and enrichment classes
Want to learn a foreign language but never had the chance? Call cultural centers to see what they are offering. They usually have short workshops that range from language classes, writing, and painting. For sure, you will have something in common with the person you will meet in these venues.

3) Bars
The chances of finding a lasting relationship in a bar is close to nil, but you get to chat with interesting people — even for just one night. When you frequent bars, do not expect to find someone searching for a serious and committed relationship. Don't go there to find a boyfriend, just have fun!

4) Places of worship
Never underestimate the power of many gathered by faith or spirituality. In these places, you will meet like-minded people who share your values and decent personalities. Go to your local parish or place of worship and check out what programs they have for singles like you.

5) Sports centers, gyms and activity Halls
There are so many low impact but fun sports to do. Take you pick: bowling, rock climbing, tae bo, boxing, tennis, etc. They are sprouting everywhere, faster that you can say mushroom. Chances are, singles like you will also be there to pass the time away.

There are so many ways to shed your current single status. Again, there is nothing wrong with being single. If anything, you are even lucky because you have all the time to do and decide on whatever you want without having to answer to anyone.

Enjoy the single life!

stop being nice

i can't sleep.. darn! i can't help but surf the net for almost anything and everything.. i'm thinking why does this creature acts too kind to share me even his most little things.. i hate him for doing that.. damn.. i don't know how am i supposed to accept that.. sometimes, he made me feel so important, so special.. but i always started thinking that he might also doing the same to other girls.. he's just so gentle to everybody.. almost everybody.. i don't want to get any other messages on his 'i-am a nice guy' profile..
the word 'nice' is a toughie.. he might just wanted to please everyone.. but why? why does he had to be nice? his actions really appears suspicious..

you've been a part of me..

I like the way everyday were holding our phone message, miss call and call each other.. I like the way I can’t concentrate on a things that im doing, I like the way you look at me, and I watch you talk, you didn’t notice?

I hear the words, but all I can think now is we should be together but we can’t cause I know, were just until friends.. When you smile I also smile, I don’t think if this is a dream only, you hold my hand tight and every time I go, your gonna tell me“ no! Don’t go please stay with me”..

In that time, remember the time we walk together and laughing, I remember when you got scared at a dog and I became your protection.. We talk so sweet, shared some conversation about ourselves, but you know the nice topic that we shared is when you ask about my plan for my future. There’s a part when I become serious, and I suddenly tell to you “ok, this is the last moment that were together”..

we both know that were not yet ready to forget each other ,but we need to, like what you said before, life is life. I’m so happy for you that you got your own now.. but why should you leave me here, after all, now I just want to be friends with u and not to disturb your life now with her.. I got my pleasant to thank someone like you, because you give me a unforgettable memories.. Honestly, this simply saying im miss being with.. But we have to let go and move on and be thankful that we don't just don't have each other.. But we became part of each others life that brought us where we are now..

Why You Shouldn’t Take the Next Step with Your Best Friend

We have all had one time or another where we have had a crush on a friend or even a best friend. If you are caught up in the crush and are enjoying the flirting and your friend doesn’t seem to mind, then that is fine. If it is the feel of the chase you love then you might need to mature a bit more in the relationship and love department before you attempt to make a move on your closest friend. This type of situation may lead to massive disappointment for both of you and injure what you have. If you are thinking of disclosing your hearts desire to your best friend and they have never shown you any love signs then you might want to think again. If you are lucky and you know that your best friend feels the same way then this might be an option for you to try, but if there is no reciprocation, flirtation or feelings, then your heart might be in for a let down. Love is such a precious feeling and has to be treasured and respected. It is good to truly sit down and think about why you want to take things further. Ask yourself these questions. Would they be a suitable match for me? Is there a future for us? Am I attracted to my best friend sexually? What are my real reasons? Am I afraid to be alone?

Sometimes it is better to keep a best friend a friend and stay that way. When you cross the line with your best friend, your friendship will be changed forever. Even if you can put what happened or what was said behind you, one of you may end up broken hearted because these feelings brought up were not acknowledged in the end. This can lead to resentment and jealousy in the future and destroy a friendship. Because two friends hang out so much together, the one that is in love or has an attraction begins to see themselves as a couple. This can end up becoming a distorted view and can result in so many painful feelings when the feelings are not returned. Unrequited love is a hard situation to go through and can take a long time to heal from. This is why in some friendships it is best to reconsider before taking the friendship to a new level.

Many people think how wonderful it will be to begin a new love relationship with their best friend. They are around all the time, they trust you, you trust them, their cute enough, they are a good friend..there is no reason not to! But there is something missing though and that is the level of love and passion that happens and sparks between two people when they fall in love. Make sure you really think this one over before making any sudden moves because your choice can result in three different ways. You either are best friends for life, broken hearted, or for the lucky ones; you have your soul mate. This is quite the gamble to take, so think it through before you jump the gun.

confused

is one of the ways to know its love is by the physical responses I have for this new found friend when in his presence or thinking about him? I do shiver? Get goosebumps? Blush? Sweat? Feel tingly all over? Cry when saying goodbye? Get stomach flip flops or butterflies? Feel like there is a lump in my throat? Can’t stop smiling? Feel warm and fuzzy? All of these physical responses are indicators that I may have found true love, but only when paired up with the other clues in this list. My God, I’m just beginning to know him. Come to think of it, a common friend . It’s just that it’s totally weird. We always send messages through messengers, and texts. We manage to be comfortable to each other through virtual communication. In real, we merely utter maximum of 10 words per encounter. See? I share a lot of me to him, even the most little things that happening in my weird world. He do the same thing. And now I’m getting confused, is he trying to show generic friendliness? or is he using me to get close to one of my friends/team mates? (guys always do this as a way to get close to somebody else) or is he building this friendship for something more for us? I don't want to jump to any conclusion right now. I might misunderstood his messages, what he is trying to show. I might be wrong again. I am damn to afraid to commit same mistake I did before to a guy friend. I know that they are totally different from each other. It’s just that I’m in a hurry that time to know how that guy feels about me. He expresses himself too much for me to expect something more than our friendship. But then, I expected too much and found out that he’s just having fun. What if they are the same? What if this new guy just want to have fun? I’ll be committing a pride-eating moment to fall down on my knees, shouting this f***ing feelings out of me. Or maybe he’s not.

They are really the opposite of each other. This guy’s so sensitive. He says sorry when he needs to. He greets me with good morning as I woke up, cares about me when I’m on travel and says good night when my day ends. He cheers me up with his corny jokes. He even go to my place to tease me with his limited words. Although he’s not my ideal guy, he seems to be the one who makes my gloomy day brighter, makes me smile when I’m totally stressed out of work, makes me comfortably say secrets to him. I remember my deceased loved one from him. They are both weird, silent people who manage to cheer up a groaring-tigress like me. Even if they know that I’m too quite hard to handle, they bend their knees to humble themselves for me. (Sigh..) I’m comparing again. I know they are different and unique from each other. Let’s just say they have similar traits. Yeah, they are unique.

I just hope that this friendship lasts longer. Come what may. I’m used to his presence and can’t afford to woke up a new morning without this someone to paint my first smile for the day. If he feels the same way, it’ll be the one of my happiest day, if not, I will just be contented enough that our friendship works.

my first blog

whew.. it's my first blog on this site.. i really find it really hard to think of the blog name that i will used.. nakakatawa i had to search on a 'baby name finder' site just to come up with the name that will best fit my future blogs.. it took me an hour to decide(not that long..)


just a lil something about my blog name.. Ashira in Hebrew means 'i will sing', viva means 'life' in Latin.. I will sing life.. that's it.. I'll try to blog about life.. the spices about my life.. try lng tlga.. hindi ko lng kc sigurado up to what extent ko kaya.. @_@

anybody can try naman d b? i hope just by blogging what i feel at the moment will lessen my burdens.. my frustrations, and of course i'll be sharing my happiness.. thoughts about everything,anything..

for now, this will be the meat of my piece.. @_@